Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter 500, released May 25, 2024. Subscriptions purchased in May 2024 include this issue.
Go Wash Grandpa’s Car • When Kyle moans, “There’s nothing to do,” Dad tells him to go wash Grandpa’s car. Kyle grumbles. But he goes. And he can’t believe the family secrets Grandpa tells him.
Swamp Suds • Swamp Suds beer is jack off beer. It gives your balls a warm glow. So when Toby hears that ol’ farmer Coonz gives his farmhands Swamp Suds beer, he knows which farmer he wants to work for this summer.
The Science of Shucking Corn • At Maximus Military Academy for Men, they use the science of shucking corn to determine which boys need remedial masturbation lessons. It’s a thing.
Buns of Steel • Dad is not a happy camper. The principal had to call him in again to lecture him about his son, Connor’s bad behavior. But Uncle Zev wonders if all the lad needs is for someone to fuck his brains out.
Pea Patch Tubers • Evid is surprised when he gets a plot in the nearby pea patch. He applied three years ago. He doesn’t know anything about gardening. But pea patch gardeners Trent, his son Ralph, and grandson Slade know a lot. And it isn’t long before they are sucking on Evid’s tuber. And smothering his nose with their balls.
Art in Dad’s Bedtime-Tales Newsletter 500 is by Lord Iron and Shigeru.
We are publishing issue 500 this Saturday, May 25, a big milestone for us. Back in 2014, the world of printed magazines came screeching to an end. We had to stop publishing our beloved monthly magazine, Handjobs. We almost folded completely. But a handful of readers begged us to keep writing stories. And so we started our weekly publication, Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter, which we emailed to a small group of dedicated readers.
There are large tech-heavy metropolises 75 miles to the north and to the south of us, Still, where we live there is no regular internet. At the time we were paying over $2,000 a month for a measly 3 Mbps up and down internet connection. And we were hosting our website in house on that service. Hard to believe now.
So when our contract for that service ended at the end of 2014, so did our old hjmag.com website. For those of you who need to know the tech details we ran that site on WebSTAR. And when 4D purchased WebSTAR and incorporated the WebSTAR software into their database, it made it easier for us because we used 4D to run our business.
HJMag.com Comes Back to Life
We managed to cobble together enough internet service by using various MiFi devices over the years. And by 2019 web hosting services had progressed to the point that we revived our hjmag.com website, achieving another milestone. Even so, we’d loose internet service for days at a time without notice. So we never knew from Saturday to Saturday if we would be able to email that Saturday’s newsletter.
Our luck changed when in February 2021 we got StarLink service. Finally we had decent, reliable internet service. At last we could count on being online 24/7 at a decent clip and work on our website.
Still, it’s been a wild ride learning the ins and outs of using various hosting companies. Since we accept credit card purchases on our site, we must meet strict security standards. Our site is rigorously tested on a regular basis to ensure it isn’t vulnerable to a host of issues.
And we have to give a shoutout to ChatGPT. Before it came along, getting answers and explanations for various technical matters was difficult. Since then, we have been able to work on our website’s code and eliminate many plugins we used to rely on. We had to jimmy those plugins to meet our needs. With ChatGPT’s help, we can create compact, efficient code that runs much better than the third-party plugins. For example we used one plugin that controlled the dollar volume of orders and the allowable quantity of items ordered. But it consists of 47 files and tens of thousands of lines of code. We were able to accomplish the same thing with 100 lines of code.
The Future?
No one knows what the future will bring. But many thanks to our many readers, we are still here. Really, we can’t thank you enough. And hopefully, come December 24, 2033, we will reach another milestone by issuing Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter 1,000.
Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter 499, released May 18, 2024. Subscriptions purchased in May 2024 include this issue.
What Did He See? • The last thing Max expects to see when he sneaks home late at night is his parents going at it in the living room. But he did. And later his dad has a sense that his son saw him fucking. But did he?
If You Want to See It Go Off • A canceled flight. No room in the inn. So when a dad and son offer our weary traveler a bed in their cozy camper, how can he say no? Even if he knows keeping his hands off the son’s butt will test his willpower.
Trust • It’s time to hire a dog trainer for his son’s dog. But when the dog trainer shows up, Dad recognizes him. Years ago his purpose in life was sucking the man’s cock and milking it with his butthole. So can Dad trust him?
Son, I Can Explain • Surgeon Dad has a lot of explaining to do when his son catches him feeding his doctor cock to a guy in the gym sauna.
Our Time With Our Dads • continued from Me Time With Dad in DBTN 498, Daniel and Dad are living it up while Mom is away on a Nile cruise with her sister. But what about Uncle Todd and cousin Chase. Are they living it up too? What if they all got together?
Art in Dad’s Bedtime-Tales Newsletter 499 is by Shigeru and Narov.
Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter 498, released May 11, 2024. Subscriptions purchased in May 2024 include this issue.
The Man Wants Some Action • Uncle Mitch shows up in a brand new convertible. When he offers to take nephew Ben for a ride, Dad doesn’t object. But would he if he knew Uncle Mitch and Ben are about to encounter a trucker wanting some action?
Me Time With Dad • For Mothers Day, Dad sends Mom off on a luxurious, two week long Nile cruise. When Dad and son, Richard, are alone, Richard wants to know if he is going to beat off a lot. But Dad surprises Richard by letting him know he likes his me time.
When a Dad Knows Too Much • Detective Zane knows better than to try the new handheld spectroscope at home. Does he really want to see how much semen is on his son’s bed? But he doesn’t know what to do when he discovers that his son’s bed has his son’s semen and the semen of a male 35 to 45 years old.
What If He Likes It? • Carson investigates the village of Ridgetoss to see if it is suitable candidate to build a facility. On his third night there, he runs into two brothers at a brewery. They can tell Carson is an outsider. So the older one asks Carson if knows how to give it to a man.
Portal to the Other Side • At night, Hans watches videos of naked men doing all kinds of things. But he can’t figure out where such men exist. However, when he starts his apprenticeship, Hans’s curiosity about the nearby old church from Medieval times leads him to discover a portal to that other world.
Dad’s Bedtime Tales Newsletter 497, released May 4, 2024. Subscriptions purchased in May 2024 include this issue.
Luring Dad • Cosmo discovers that his therapist dad has a patient who is troubled with a son who tries to seduce him. And when he reads his dad’s notes that he wonders what he would do if he saw his son jacking off, Cosmo hatches a plan.
Powerless to Say No • Therapist Dad knows it is impossible to watch a son jack off without wondering what he is thinking. So after witnessing a load of cum blow out of his son’s cock, does Dad have the fortitude to leave it at that?
Tiding Over • Older brother Jack drives Bill nuts. Jack struts around their shared bedroom naked after a shower. Displaying a luscious cock Bill craves. A cock Bill knows he can never have. But when Jack pursues a girl who will never spread her legs for him, Bill sees a chance.
Do You Need Your Lawn Mowed? • Cal can’t explain the real reason why teenage boys show up all the time to mow his lawn. But the real reason is that the boys know that if they mow Cals’s lawn, there is a good chance he will fuck ’em.
I Can Handle One • Coach Jeffrey isn’t concerned when Principal Dean asks him to handle Detention. There is only one boy. Surely Coach can handle one boy. Or can he?
Art in Dad’s Bedtime-Tales Newsletter 497 is by Shigeru and Narov.
